Mediation for Empowered Uncoupling
Little did you know that when you got married, you automatically opted-in to the process of litigation in the civil court system if you were ever to get divorced. This is why as soon as you tell anyone you are considering divorce, you will hear a chorus of “you need to get a lawyer.” Perhaps the most personal and gut-wrenching human relationship decision you may ever make—with long-ranging effects on you and your children—and your first contact for guidance will be a litigator.
The divorce litigator you consult with will give you well-intentioned advice. Invariably, you will ask them what you need to know and do to “protect” yourself. You want to know what you’re “entitled to.” And you will tell them you “just want what’s fair.” And you “don’t want to get screwed.”
I know because I have been that litigator, answering these questions, for hundreds and hundreds of people over nearly 20 years.
There is nothing inherently wrong with these questions or the advice you will likely receive. But the questions and their answers presuppose that divorce is a fight. That assumption is not the client’s fault. It’s not even the lawyer’s fault. The root cause is that the civil court system is predicated on an adversarial process. A process that, in the divorce context, pits spouses against each other as opponents and makes it a zero-sum game. A process that is so technical and opaque that non-lawyers simply cannot effectively interface with it. Overlay on that the Hollywood portrayal and popular conception of lawyers as sharks and divorce as a binary win/lose proposition. As if the judge in a divorce trial is going to make a ruling that someone is the “good and innocent spouse” and the other one is the “bad and guilty spouse.”
That’s not what happens.
What happens is that usually there is no day of reckoning. Most cases do settle out of court. But it takes longer than it should. And it costs more than it should. And there’s often a lot of fear, confusion, and frustration. When a settlement is reached, it is frequently more of a capitulation than a true resolution.
To some extent, the client is along for the ride.
Mediation for Empowered Uncoupling invites you to get back in the driver’s seat. It is founded on the belief that you are capable—with your spouse and with a bit of guidance from the mediator—of resolving your divorce largely on your own. It’s your life, after all. Who has more expertise on what works for you and your family than you?
Here’s how it works:
The Process at a Glance
- 1. Intake & Orientation
- Complete intake forms & conflict check
- Orientation session + “Our Family in Two Homes” workbooks
- 2. Individual Meetings
- One-on-one session with the mediator (60–90 minutes each)
- Share goals, concerns, and priorities
- 3. Financial & Parenting Preparation
- Complete Asset/Debt Inventory & Budget Worksheet
- Workbook assignments to clarify values & parenting vision
- 4. Joint Mediation Sessions
- Two sessions (2–2.5 hrs each) with both spouses
- Guided discussion and problem-solving
- Focus on transparency, respect, and future-focused planning
- 5. Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA)
- Mediator drafts binding settlement agreement
- Reviewed and finalized with independent counsel
- 6. Legal Filing
- Independent attorneys file divorce petition & decree
- Court signs Final Decree of Divorce
Why Clients Choose This Path
Privacy:
Three layers of confidentiality, unlike public court
Empowerment:
You stay in the driver’s seat, not lawyers or judges
Efficiency:
Flat-fee package of $4,950 covers intake, meetings, workbooks, and MSA drafting
Dignity:
Process rooted in mutual respect and forward-looking solutions
Better Process. Better Results.
Mediation for Empowered Uncoupling puts you back in control—creating agreements designed by you, for your family.
About Sam Colletti
Sam is a highly regarded family law mediator. (Though his children usually seem resistant to his attempts to mediate sibling disputes.) Sam takes a great deal of pride in his mediation practice and tends to consider it his highest and best use as a lawyer. Since the pandemic, Sam’s mediation practice has flourished, and he continues to refine and adapt his methods to best assist clients and lawyers. If the mediation calendar continues at this pace, soon Sam will have learned the dark secrets of all the opposing counsels and he will be poised to rule the family law world…
