Empowered Uncoupling Mediation
Little did you know that when you got married, you automatically opted-in to the process of litigation in the civil court system if you were ever to get divorced. This is why as soon as you tell anyone you are considering divorce, you will hear a chorus of “you need to get a lawyer.” Perhaps the most personal and gut-wrenching human relationship decision you may ever make—with long-ranging effects on you and your children—and your first contact for guidance will be a litigator.
The divorce litigator you consult with will give you well-intentioned advice. Invariably, you will ask them what you need to know and do to protect yourself. You want to know what you’re entitled to. You will say you just want what’s fair. And that you just don’t want to get screwed.
I know because I have been that litigator, answering these questions for hundreds of people over 20+ years.
There is nothing inherently wrong with these questions or the advice you will likely receive. But the questions presuppose that divorce is a fight. That assumption is not the client’s fault, and it’s not even the lawyer’s fault. The root cause is that the civil court system is predicated on an adversarial process. In the divorce context it pits spouses against each other as opponents and makes it a zero-sum game. Making matters worse, the process is so technical and opaque that non-lawyers cannot effectively interface with it. (Many lawyers aren’t very effective at it either, if we’re being honest.)
Overlay on that the Hollywood portrayal of lawyers as sharks, and the popular conception of divorce as a high stakes win/lose proposition. As if the judge in a divorce trial is going to make a ruling that one person is the “good and innocent spouse” and the other one is the “bad and guilty spouse.”
But that’s not really what happens, of course.
What frequently happens in a litigated divorce is that both parties and lawyers get sucked into a downward spiral of accusations, demands, miscommunications, and incremental battles leading up to trial. And trial outcomes are often a mixed bag, with the result being something similar to what you could have negotiated for months ago. In that circumstance, it’s hard to avoid feeling like you’ve been taken for a ride.
While it is common for cases to settle out of court, it usually takes longer than it should and it costs more than it should. There’s often a lot of fear, confusion, and frustration along the way. When a settlement is reached, it is sometimes more of a capitulation than a true resolution.
Empowered Uncoupling Mediation invites you to get back in the driver’s seat. It is founded on the belief that you and your spouse are capable—with steady guidance from an attorney-mediator—of resolving your divorce without the indignity and expense of litigation.
Here’s how it works:
The Process at a Glance
- 1. Intake & Orientation
- Complete intake forms & conflict check
- Orientation session + “Our Family in Two Homes” workbooks
- 2. Individual Meetings
- One-on-one session with the mediator (60–90 minutes each)
- Share goals, concerns, and priorities
- 3. Financial & Parenting Preparation
- Complete Asset/Debt Inventory & Budget Worksheet
- Workbook assignments to clarify values & parenting vision
- 4. Joint Mediation Sessions
- Two sessions (2–2.5 hrs each) with both spouses
- Guided discussion and problem-solving
- Focus on transparency, respect, and future-focused planning
- 5. Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA)
- Mediator drafts binding settlement agreement
- Reviewed and finalized with independent counsel
- 6. Legal Filing
- Independent attorneys file divorce petition & decree
- Court signs Final Decree of Divorce
Why Clients Choose This Path
Privacy:
Three layers of confidentiality, unlike public court
Empowerment:
You stay in the driver’s seat, not lawyers or judges
Efficiency:
Flat-fee package that covers intake, meetings, workbooks, and MSA drafting
Dignity:
Process rooted in mutual respect and forward-looking solutions
Better Process. Better Results.
Mediation for Empowered Uncoupling puts you back in control—creating agreements designed by you, for your family.
About Sam Colletti
Sam is a 20+ year, Board Certified family lawyer, and a highly regarded family law mediator. (Though his children usually seem resistant to his attempts to mediate sibling disputes.) Sam takes a great deal of pride in his mediation practice and tends to consider it his highest and best use as a lawyer. Since the pandemic, Sam’s mediation practice has flourished, and he continues to refine and adapt his methods to best assist clients and lawyers.
